someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
