We got so high we made milksteak
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize