You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
