Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
