i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
