real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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