His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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