Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
