so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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