i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize