Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize