Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's Friday. Sex?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
