she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
