i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
