i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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