I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
