If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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