dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
