The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
