Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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