Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
