Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
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all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
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I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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