You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
