so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
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I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
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He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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