if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
