we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
