I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
