she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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