Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
