My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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