Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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