you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
