I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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