pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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