I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
