My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize