OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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