come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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