Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
