i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
