I want to make a zoo with you.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
