I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
