My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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