flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
