He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize