used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
