hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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