I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
