I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Hippo gnu deer
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
