I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
