Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
