Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!