As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize