How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
