What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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