god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
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