hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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