the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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