You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think people are normalizing furries
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
