spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
